Dear Bathroom Scale, You Don't Define Me

We use numbers to measure our worth. Our number of Facebook friends. The value of our house. Our salary. The number of hours we work each week. The list goes on and on. But I’ve decided there’s one number I won’t use to judge myself—my weight.

During the last two years, I’ve lost a considerable amount of weight and kept it off. I’m not going to share the number of pounds because that’s not important. Instead, I’ll let these photos speak for themselves.

The Beginning

Four years ago I had thyroid surgery, and, as a result, I ended up with hypothyroidism, which can make maintaining a healthy weight more of a challenge. Add decreased exercise and a love for food, and I gained weight. The more I thought about dieting, the hungrier I became.

Then in September 2015, I read It Starts with Food. My goal wasn’t to lose weight. Instead, I wanted to be healthier. My mom battled cancer twice, and I wanted to do everything I could to make sure I was prepared if I ever had to face the same diagnosis.

With my health as my focus, I changed my eating habits and started walking daily. Pretty soon, unhealthy junk foods didn’t appeal to me (most of the time). Instead of thinking about food, I noticed how much energy I had. I was happier and had fewer headaches.

Enter the Bathroom Scale

And, my clothes were too big. How exhilarating! I was losing weight and not experiencing cravings. Then I pulled out the bathroom scale because, come on, I was curious. What appeared was a number I hadn’t seen in years, like double-digit years. And then I started thinking about food again. What was going on? As soon as I saw the number on the scale, I started plotting how to make the number go down even more. My mind shifted from focusing on my health to focusing on my weight.

I put the scale away and didn’t pull it out for more than a month. Almost immediately after weighing myself, I noticed that I started focusing on the number again. Which made me start thinking about food. Which lead to cravings. I knew if I didn’t stay off the scale, I’d be tempted to fall into the diet mentality.

Today I rarely weigh myself. If I were a perfectly strong woman, I’d just throw away the scale or donate it to Goodwill, but I’m not Wonder Woman. Instead, I occasionally indulge my curiosity, but never when I feel like I’ve gained weight.

The Lesson

As a woman, society has influenced me into thinking that my weight determines how worthwhile I am. But I’ve risen above that notion. Instead, I judge myself by a different set of numbers—ones that prove how healthy and strong I am.

I can hold a four-minute plank, lift 190 pounds on the gym’s leg press machine, do bicep curls with 20-pound weights, and run at 6,000-feet altitude without feeling like I’m going to keel over. My thyroid levels are in the normal range for the first time since my surgery, and I’m on the lowest dose of thyroid medicine. My cholesterol and blood pressure numbers have dropped. I celebrate these numbers because they show that I accomplished my goal of becoming healthier. And, I’m using them as inspiration to see what else I can achieve.

Instead of using your weight to measure your worth, think about all of the seemingly normal but actually amazing things you do every day. Whether you carried your child and 20 pounds of their paraphernalia to and from the car, volunteered to help others, completed a work project, finished your first 5k, crossed an adventure off your bucket list or took the time to listen to a friend. Remember, the number on the scale doesn’t define who you are or what you can accomplish. You are so much more than your weight.

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Angie is a regular contributor to AuthenticallyAmy. Read more about her here.