Replacing Sorry with Thank You in 2017

Dec 28, 2016
2 min read

Apparently, women tend to apologize a lot. We are knocked for this habit as it’s viewed as undermining language. Basically, it's been noted that women talk with weakness and not strength. (My thoughts on this could be an additional post).

I am not confident that this is a truly evidence-based assumption and I am not confident that it’s a bad thing. I am confident that men also have language ticks. We just might not use the same word or phrase.

When I first started reading about this trending topic that told me my workplace success would excel if I closely monitored the way I spoke and wrote, I thought, I'm a woman, and I'm not going to apologize anymore.

I do apologize a lot. Good or bad, I am more aware of it now. I want to be clear though -- avoiding the use of apologetic words is not going to change my success.

This topic does have me thinking about how I use my words. That’s a good thing. I can always improve on something, but it doesn’t mean that I was weak to begin with.

I am really sorry at times, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Sorry I am late. Sorry I forgot your birthday. Sorry that you can’t have another fruit snack when you really, really want one. Sorry that you had a bad day and now you have to stay late to finish something up for me.

Sorry my report to you wasn’t better when my kid was throwing up and I stayed up until 1 a.m. to make sure I met the deadline and then my other kid started throwing up at 4 a.m. but I still made it to work so you could have this important document. Sorry, I might smell like puke.

Sorry that I have an opinion that you don’t agree with. (Okay, I am not sorry about that one).

As I was contemplating this topic, I realized that I could replace sorry with thank you in some circumstances and that would foster a better conversation and sense of communication.

For example:

Thank you for waiting for me. Your time is valuable and I was late.

Thank you for being such a great friend. Happy belated Birthday.

Thank you for working extra hours when I know you had a rough day.

Thank you for understanding that my children were sick. This report is important to our organization and I have it completed on time.

We will see what 2017 will hold, but I am committed to continue living authentically. It's certainly a work in progress, and I am thankful for the opportunity to share my adventure with you.

Sometimes I will apologize because that is what the situation calls for and sometimes I will say thank you instead.