I had goals but needed coffee

AuthenticallyAmy has a team of Everyday People that contribute to this blog. We believe that it's the everyday people that make a difference in our lives. Leaders don't always lead from the top.

----

I had personal goals to tackle this year.

I had intentions to act on these goals.

I had desires to achieve these goals.

Standing in front of my mirror this morning I wondered, how did I end up here: extremely out of shape, unhappy, alone (really more lonely than alone), stressed, tired and still wanting more.

This was my thought process this morning as I just came off a buzz of an awards banquets the night before at work. I was awarded Top Sales Rep of the Year for revenue and highest achievement over goal at 140% of plan.

I sold more this year than ever before! I earned business from new customers and long term customers that trust me and my organization. I achieved major success as an individual and a team in my department and within my company.

I worked with many clients that not only help me to earn a paycheck but also support the earnings of many of my peers. I have become very good friends with so many of these clients along the way. Since I often times work with non-profits, I still get a taste of the desires of my heart to help others in need within my community and world. It's pretty great.

I am successful. I am VERY successful. But, lately, it feels like I am only successful at work.

Pity Party

So what was this pity party I was throwing for myself in front of the mirror at 6:30 am all about. I mean, let's be honest, I really do need to get in better physical shape - because I enjoy being active. I don’t feel like "myself".

I am only 2 weeks into a strict diet, which requires a pretty drastic "boring" lifestyle change. Dieting is hard, self pressure makes it harder, and peer pressure just adds volumes to the difficulty of staying on a plan.

I was unhappy because I despise the cold and all the layers of clothes I have to put on to stay warm. I needed coffee and there wasn't any in my house! That really didn't help the mood. (I know trivial issues, but hang with me here!)

Loneliness and Friendship

I feel lonely right now because sometimes I find myself in a phase where I isolate myself from others. Because I'm exhausted with the tug that friendship sometimes has on me. I don't feel up to the job of being my normal self - which is happy, go lucky, funny, a problem solver, a good ear to vent to, the social butterfly.

I'm lonely coming off of another holiday season single and without children. I don't declare this to nearly enough to people but these are truly the desires of my heart.

I'm stressed because after all of the success of my previous year, I have yet to see the goals that I am expected to achieve this year. It's a never ending push for more in the world of sales. I honestly do enjoy that aspect of my job, but it's stressful getting started and creating a plan all over again.

I'm stressed because I do most everything on my own financially and with maintence of a home/car/life it can be stressful to make decisions.

I'm tired. I'm so tired. Not like "I need more sleep" tired. More like - "stop doing the same things over and over again, year after year that are not bringing you joy" tired.

And then I got my coffee…

I went to the restroom at work and looked in the mirror again. We had a coming to Jesus moment.

Stop complaining, start acting. Stop worrying, realize your blessings.

Stop isolating yourself and ask a friend to come hang out- even if you were really testing them to see if they would call you first (just admit it you've all done this before).

Take the GOSH DARN guitar lessons you've been talking about for years now.

Sing!

Write again. You love it. Other people will probably love it. If they don't..they probably wouldn't be the type of person you want to hang out with anyway.

Love yourself. And when you feel like you have filled up your own ego enough for the day… love yourself even more.

Listen to your instincts - if you don't want to do something, don't do it. If you want to do something, then you should!

Recognize that you have already lost 12 lbs in a few weeks.

Recognize that you did well this year in work, in life, in friendships and travel allowed you to gain many wonderful experiences.

You have so much. Stop wishing for more. What you have is enough.

Remember you already love the life you have.

And most of all, don't forget you're out of coffee at home. Stop at the store on your way home tonight.

#everydaypeople #authenticity