It's easy to ignore the ugly

May 19, 2016
3 min read

I saw a post from a wonderful woman this morning on Facebook and she used the hashtag ‪#‎BiggerThanBathrooms‬. She talked about the rates of child sex abuse (20% of girls) and how often (over 90%) the perpetrator is someone the family knows, loves and trusts.

She's right. Everything she said is right.

But her post -- specifically her hashtag -- got me thinking more.

See, some days I am worn out. I'm exhausted. I'm cranky. So when I look at the tasks on my desk I find the easy ones. When I scroll through my email I choose the ones I can quickly reply, file or delete.

I save the hard stuff. Because some days it's just too much to tackle the big projects.

Saving the Hard Stuff

I have to be careful though. Because if I ignore the big ones for too long the hard stuff is all that is left. I don't actually get anything done then. I fall behind. And then I feel really defeated.

To me, that is what this uproar about bathroom usage resembles. It's easy stuff. It's easy for people to take a side and yell and holler. It's easy for people to post memes, point fingers and make fun.

It's not right but it's easy.

It's hard for people to know that 4-7 kids die EVERY DAY in our country because of abuse and neglect.

It's hard to imagine babies drowning in oceans trying to find safety.

It's hard to recognize your partner is an addict.

It's difficult to confront your friend who is being beat up by their partner.

It's mind boggling to recognize the number of children bought and sold into labor and sex trafficking rings every day (yes. Here. In the Quad Cities. At your grocery stores. At your schools).

It's hard. It's ugly.

But here's the deal. Our children, our future aren't hard projects at work we can pass off onto someone else. Our children deserve better. They deserve adults to look at the hard stuff and tackle it. They deserve parents who look reality in the eye and say "I'm not accepting this truth. I will make a difference."

Ignoring the ugly is why animal abuse treatment and prevention raises 4 times the amount of money every year that child abuse prevention and treatment does. (Don't get me wrong, animal abuse is ugly. It's awful. But people can separate themselves from animals enough to acknowledge it. They aren't a dog and therefore it couldn't happen to them or their babies).

Ignoring the ugly is why babies are dying.

Ignoring the ugly is why girls are being trafficked as sex objects for gangs and boys are forced into survival sex.

I wish that I could get as worked up about bathroom usage as many (My 'stance' is beside the point and irrelevant). I wish I could. But I simply can't.

My worries.

I'm worried about my baby and his future in a world that refuses to see - and subsequently fix - the ugly.

I'm worried about lives.

I'm worried about the cold hard facts I can rattle off at any second.

I'm worried about a world where I don't even question the insane numbers of abused, neglected and traumatized children because I know how true it all is.

My world's ugly sometimes but I promise its truth. My world is sad sometimes but beautiful too. Because I know I'm making a difference to change the ugly.

Join me. Don't join the ugly. Don't ignore the ugly.

Face the hard. Because our problems right now truly are #BiggerThanBathrooms