Accepting a compliment (without dying from embarrassment)
- Nov 25, 2015
- 2 min read
We squirm, deflect and laugh awkwardly.
Why is it so hard for us to graciously accept a compliment?
A few years ago I decided that if I received a compliment I would simply smile and thank the person for sharing with me. It was such a relief to have a planned response. There were no awkward moments, and I could quickly move on before the red skin quickly rose from my neck up.
Recently, I attended a training for physicians on accepting someone's gratitude for the care they provided. The very act of a patient expressing their appreciation for the great care provided by a healthcare worker is an essential part of the healing process. This opportunity should not be denied or pushed off with, "Just doing my job."
This lead me to think, "How many times have I shut down a conversation with someone?" What have a missed? My method to smile and thank them for sharing also included a third step ....quickly change the subject ...which certainly denied the opportunity for conversation.
During a routine coffee date with a friend, which never really is routine, it turned into a wonderful conversation stemming from a compliment. She shared her thoughts on my blog creation and the passion in which I approach this piece of my life. It's something that I am really proud of for thinking and acting on my goals.
After I smiled (a really, warm, almost tears in my eyes-smile), I asked her a few questions. Not the kind that searches for more compliments, but questions about what she saw that lead her to say something. (I also confessed that I was ironically working on this blog post). We had the most wonderful conversation, and it lead to a real, heart-felt conversation about our friendship.
Without meaning to do this, I am complimenting her bravery for sharing with me. For being bold. For being honest. For being a good friend. I am pretty sure our friendship grew to the phase.
So, I don't have five steps to perfect this art, or bolded sentences that you can quickly scan and forever graciously accept compliments.
What I do have is a suggestion: thank the person for sharing with you and use it as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and the person who was so kind to share a compliment.
Don't cut off the conversation and deny the other person the opportunity to share something important with you. You will be deeply grateful for that moment.
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